This is the book that my husband will not be getting or Christmas, as much as he enjoys a good Grisham novel. And these are the boots that I’ll never own, as much as I really, really like them. And we’ll never open these gifts around our tree.

We decided to try something different this year – giving less gifts to each other and more to others.

But we love to shop – mostly because it’s something we can do together. And we love to wrap – mostly because it satisfies a craving for creativity – fashioning a beautiful bouquet of gifts. We decided to still do these things – to still meet these needs in ourselves, but to do them for others. We shopped*. We wrapped**. We arranged our bouquet around the tree and captured it for posterity. But then we loaded all the gifts into the car and took them to our charity***, who have given them to the adopted family who needs them.

We also love to give ordinary items, like laundry detergent and toilet paper (yes, household items turn out to be surprisingly festive). Here are the bags of necessities that we’ve also donated. We give these un-glamorous items because when we do, families can buy fun stuff for their children rather than spending money on the necessities. We give toothpaste to the moms and dads, and in turn, moms and dads get to give toys to their sons or daughters.

But this too is also about us, not just them. My annual day at Target with our son and daughter has turned into a rather magical tradition. Actually, it’s magical for me, it’s probably just about fun for them. They punt the paper towels (when other shoppers aren’t around, promise) and goof around in the fabric softener aisle. We keep our fun below the obnoxious meter, but we do laugh. A lot. Because what’s good for others, is also good for us.

And finally advent. This is our advent calendar.  I found it on sale one year and fell in love with all the little doors with their promise of something special for each day of the season. But what to put behind the doors? Connections. For each day, we have a little question we each answer in the morning. What’s your favorite color and what does it say about you? If you could break one habit, what would it be? What do you admire in others? If you could solve one world issue, what would it be? If you could travel…you get the idea. It’s not the answers that matter so much, but the asking and the discussing.

We don’t have this all figured out, but we’re trying.

We want to give. We want to simplify. And we want to clarify. And for me, it’s clearly about relationships: how we can expand our connections with others, but also deepen our connections with each other.

 

(Here’s the website with the giving list for un-glamorous household gifts!)

*A girls shopping day with my sandwich – my mom and my daughter.

**Well, mostly my mom wrapped. It’s one of her special creative outlets!

***The Good Samaritan Center is one of our favorites